Dear God,
As this first year of retirement wraps up, I am filled with gratitude for Your guidance to another new chapter in the book of my life. I thought I knew what I was supposed to be doing, but for the most part, I think my motives were off, and I was not serving others enough. The next pages leading to the right ending were written by You, the Author of life, of my life. I need only to ask for your direction, and I trust that the reveal of only one sentence or paragraph at a time is enough. I know that You will do “immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20).
As we were singing in worship at church in early October, the young woman next to me touched my shoulder and said that You had spoken to her heart that I needed prayer. I was both amazed and taken aback at first, and I replied that I had been asking You for direction in the use of my time and talents in my retirement. Jenna prayed quietly for me amidst the music in the room. I thanked her and returned to singing in worship.
Minutes later, You whispered to my heart, “Substitute teaching.” Responding to my internal protest, You provided further confirmations:
- As Pastor Seth later wrapped up his message, he challenged us that following You, Jesus, often involves getting uncomfortable. Comfort is a tool of the Enemy. If You prompt us to do something difficult, we should do it, or we miss out on Your best.
- Four days later, Numbers 13 of Your Word spoke to me as I was reminded of the consequences of fear. The Israelites were prevented from entering the Promised Land due to their own fear of giants and fortified cities. (Only Joshua and Caleb wanted to proceed.) All the people wandered the wilderness for forty years. I get it! Faith over fear!
An additional prompt: It’s been forty years since I was a teacher.
I trust in Your plans and that You will work in ways at which I can only guess. You will overcome my concerns. God, You got me devoted to taking the steps to teach in a small local school district, and to find resources to help me make it a good day, an encouraging and educational day for students, when I fill in for their teacher.
I plan on subbing just a couple of days a week, and with travels that will take me away at times, my availability is sometimes limited, but any difference You want me to make, anyone with whom You want me to connect, anything You want me to teach or to learn, Your timing will be perfect. I can see some “giants”, but even if Your purpose is for me to encourage one kid on one day, it will be enough. I trust You that in this new chapter, I don’t need to know the reason or what is on the next page.
Proverbs 3:5-6. “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
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Friends and readers, my new format of writing to God–instead of about God–is something that He drew me to in my writing, after weeks of not writing anything. I have been focused on preparing to teach, all the while wondering why I had lost my desire to write.
My previous motivation to write was wrong. I got discouraged by low views and nearly zero likes in the blog. I meant to glorify God through developing my ideas, and He did help me along with my words, but feeling like I was wasting my time without many readers was really about myself.
Writing to the One who blessed me with the gift of words and ideas prevents me (prayerfully) from writing and posting for the wrong reasons. I have also turned off the viewing of statistics.
All that matters is glorifying God and enjoying what He has given me. Period.
Have a blessed New Year!
Truth in my Travels 